never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
