he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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