At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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