Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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