You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
