C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
