THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
