he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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