My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
