no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
