tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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