there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
