So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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