my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
