what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
worst night to have a conscience
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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