Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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