So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
