Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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