all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
someone owes me an orgasm
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
