Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
