using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
