Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
