You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
