I hope mine doesn't look like that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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