What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize