I puked a lego.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
