Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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