Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
