Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
