you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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