kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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