He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
