My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
