so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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