Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
