you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am mentally ready for anal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
