So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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