I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
