there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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