We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
