i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
