Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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