Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my shit smells like andre
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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