I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
