i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
