i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
