just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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