Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
