Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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