Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
