i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
