as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
