Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
