The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
