Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize