Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
