He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
