He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize