She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
People in love make me want to vomit
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize